In Defense of Barn Party USA

I made Louisville, Kentucky my home for a couple ofyears.  During that time there werea few things I could count on.
1.  AroundApril 15, sports talk radio stations would start breaking down the upcomingcollege basketball season.  Yes,that’s about a week after the old college basketball season just ended andmaybe another six months before the new one starts.
2.  Any given week, you could count oneither 12 inches of snow or a 75 mph wind from out of nowhere.  Either way, you can forget about havingany power for the next two or three days.

3.  Every Saturday night at 10:00, nomatter who was at my house or whatever else was going on, my TV was locked onthe local cable access channel for Barn Party USA.

Barn Party USA wasbasically the same thing every week. The Reed Brothers Band hosted the show from a different recordstore/truck stop/Waffle House each week. In between interviews with record store owners/truck drivers/WaffleHouse cooks we were treated to a continuous loop of music videos from The ReedBrothers Band.  One of those videoswas for a song called Guns Already Drawn.  It was my favorite.

At first glance you’ll betempted to think that this video, and by default every other video from TheReed Brothers Band, is a poorly produced vehicle for name recognition by someignorant weekend musicians. 

Not so fast.

The Reed Brothers aregeniuses.  I can’t tell you oneartist or group that has won a Video Music Award but it’s been three yearssince I lived in Louisville and I’m still talking about The Reed Brothers Band.  In fact, last week a friend sent me amessage that said, “I heard you’re gonna need fresh horses.”  I knew immediately that he wasreferring to another video by The Reed Brothers Band. 

Pure marketing genius onthe part of The Reed Brothers Band.

Oh, but you wantproof.  Well sit back, relax andenjoy Guns Already Drawn by The ReedBrothers Band.  Again, the name ofthe song is Guns Already Drawn.  I remind you of this in the event thathearing it repeated 73 times during the song just doesn’t do it for you.

0:12 – Some bands wearmake-up and flashy costumes[1].  Not The Reed Brothers Band.  I’m pretty sure that the bass player,whom we’ll call Dwayne, just got off of work at some factory and didn’t havetime to change clothes.

0:21 – Here we learn thatthe Reed Brothers are wanted for doing something wrong.  We also learn that the printers back inthe old west are better than the one currently in my house.

0:39 – The slow motioneffect means that trouble is coming soon. Wait for it, wait for it…

1:05 – Here it is.  I have no idea what that is.  I’m pretty sure that it’s some womanholding a puppet.  For some reasonthey’re not happy.  In fact, itappears as though the woman is being killed by the puppet.  What this has to do with guns alreadybeing drawn is still a mystery.

1:14 – In case anyterrorists are watching, take note. Our drummer has an America shirt. Oh, and he can sing too.  Sotake that terrorists.

1:23 – I thought she waskilled by a puppet. 

1:31 – Here’s a behind thescenes shot of the Reeds in the “studio”. By studio, I mean large office complex.  I’m pretty sure that this belongs to the factory whereDwayne the bass player works.

1:34 – Notice the woman inthe background.

“Ma’am, could you pleasekeep it down?  We’re trying toshoot a video here and we’ve only got the office space for another 15 minutes.”

“I’m just here for mypaycheck.”

“Jackie will be with youin a minute but right now she’s holding the camera for us.  Now hush!”

1:47 – Notice the kid’sreflection in the window.  This is frightening.  Thereare two possibilities here.

Option A:50 years ago this kid was killed at this very sight and now he’s back to stopthe Reeds from filming their video. I think this happened before on the set of Three Men and a Baby and TheWizard of Oz.

Option B:Poor production.

I’m sure the FBI is on thecase.  They’ll get back to us onthis.

2:07 – The Reeds are backin the lab.  Look, I’m no RickRubin but shouldn’t there be sponges on the wall or something to help with thesound?  Not if you want to soundauthentic.  The Reeds areauthentic.  The sound oftypewriters and women waiting on their paychecks only makes things better.

2:40 – Okay, now we’regetting somewhere.  There’s finallya gun being drawn in the Guns AlreadyDrawn video.  This woman isgoing to stir up all kinds of trouble in this town.  She’ll kill anything that moves until she gets to the Reedsfor one dramatic showdown at the end of the video.

Okay wait.  Never mind all of that.  Did she get shot?  Can’t be.  There’s no blood. Apparently she pulled a muscle in the bicep of her firing arm.  It looks like this is the last we’llsee of her.

Is this the same one thatwas mauled by the puppet earlier? If so, this woman really shouldn’t be around guns, or heavy equipment orthe Reeds for that matter.  She’sbad news.

3:07 – The lady waitingfor her paycheck now has her purse in her lap.  She’s getting impatient.  The bank closes in 7 minutes.  Maybe we’re finally starting to see where the Guns Already Drawn storyline is heading.

3:30 – Someone is beinghung for something.  You shouldnotice that the person about to be put to death is not one of the Reeds.  A huge miscarriage of justice is aboutto go down.

3:38 – But our soon to bedead criminal doesn’t seem too worried. He’s still able to give a nice nod to the ladies.

3:58 – Best hideout ever!

4:05 – Worse hideout ever!  And another pulled muscle.

Here’s what we’velearned?  If you’re in a band andyou want to make a music video, don’t let the lack of a good budget and thelack of a good story line stop you. If you can just somehow find a way to get it on TV there’s a good chancethat three years later some idiot will be writing a blog about it in the middleof the night.

[1] KISS andRascal Flatts.  More so RascalFlatts.

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