Peyton Manning is going to be a Bronco. This is good news for you if you’re a Denver fan. You probably shouldn’t make any plans that don’t involve a TV for Super Bowl weekend. This is bad news for you if you don’t really care about Denver but you just laid down $65 for a Denver Broncos Tebow jersey.
I know you’re angry. You had so much fun watching Tebow’s heroics last year. You loved seeing the so called experts get proven wrong every single weekend. You loved the look of astonishment on opposing players faces after they just got beat by a quarterback who completed 37% of his passes.
But those days are gone, at least in Denver, and there’s something important for you to remember, fellow Christians. Here it is. Tim Tebow is not a martyr. Tebow being shipped from Denver to Jacksonville isn’t persecution. Okay, maybe it is. Let me try that again. Tebow being shipped to Miami isn’t persecution. Just remember that before you put up your billboard comparing John Elway to the Antichrist.
If anyone is persecuted in all of this it’s got to be the other Manning brother. No, not Eli. The other one. Cooper, I think is his name. Between the two of them, Peyton and Eli have three Super Bowl rings. I have no idea what Cooper does for a living but he doesn’t have a Super Bowl ring. How does this not factor into the conversation at the table on Thanksgiving?
“Cooper, did you get to hold Eli’s ring?”
“Cooper, I’m sure Peyton will sign your napkin for you if you ask nicely.”
“Oh, Cooper. Where did we go wrong with you?”
So in short, Tim Tebow is going to be just fine. Cooper is the one you should probably be concerned about. Nobody wants to be the Art Garfunkel or fifth Beatle of his own family and for Cooper, that just might be the case.
But if you’re still worried about what to do with your old Tebow jersey just keep it. It’ll remind you of the good old days.
And I hear you can get a Jacksonville Jaguars jersey at a real nice price.