If you ever get sued and have to defend yourself before Judge Judy, here are six easy steps to ensure that you lose.
1. Let her know what kinds of things you like to buy (0:30).
“Fireworks, bootleg movies, teddy bears.”
“Yay! Daddy’s home. Did you buy us anything?”
“Yup. Billy, I got you a roman candle. Sherry, I filmed this version of Cars 2 all by myself with my cell phone just for you. Oh, and Dorry, here’s a teddy bear.”
“Thanks dad! You’re the best.”
2. Let her know that you’re a family man (0:43).
That is, a man with many families.
3. Insult the judge’s daughter (1:28).
What’s the worst that could happen?
Hint: If Judge Judy, or any judge for that matter, ever calls you “fresh mouth” you should probably rethink your strategy. Something went wrong somewhere. Of course, you could try to dig yourself out of the hole you made for yourself by trying to take over the entire Judge Judy show.
4. Bring your genius cousins with you (2:28).
5. Make Judge Judy scream (2:28).
At this point, you should just leave. Anything. Just don’t make her scream again. Surely, it wont get that bad.
6. You made her scream again (2:43).
I’m not 100 % sure on this but I think Judge Judy gave this man the death penalty.