Everybody needs a theme song. This is yet another area where professional athletes really get to enjoy the good life. Soon to be retired Braves third baseman Larry Wayne Jones has made a career out of hobbling up to the the plate, bat in hand, while Ozzy screams the beginning of Crazy Train.
Just once, I want to know what that’s like.
“And now, home from a hard day at the office, a 5 foot 9 inch 30 something from Clayton County, Jaaaaaaaay Sandersssssssss!”
(Cue up Technotronic.)
This week’s topic is of the utmost importance. It will probably impact the church and the world for decades to come.
If you were a pro athlete, what would be your theme song?
This is one of those cases where first impressions make all the
difference. You’re walking out of the dugout, approaching home plate
or all greased up approaching the squared circle. Everybody is like,
“Who is this clown?”. Then your music hits and they know. Mine would
Kountry Gentleman by Family Force 5
I come from the land where the mullet attacks
Business up front
Party in the back
You gotta style in the south when you’re steppin’ out
Put a gold tooth in your mouth
Look at you now
your ball cap,
you think you’re all that
But you’re lookin’ like Scott Stapp!
You’re just another redneck from back in the woods
Not a Kountry Gentleman that can bring the goods
Yeah, that’s who I am slack jawed fan. Deal with it.
If it’s baseball then it has to be Knock the Cover off the Ball. That’s the music from the movie The Natural when Roy Hobbs hits the game winning home run. Sometimes when I’m doing something I like to play that music in my head and pretend like I’m moving in slow motion with sparks in the background. For all other things, I would go with LL Cool J’s Mama Said Knock You Out.
Most definitely Led Zeppelin’s Immigrant Song. Need I say more than this- dun dun dun doodin dun dun dun doodin, “aaahhh- aghh!” Powerful stuff.
If I was a fighter in the UFC. Wait, let me start over. When I am a fighter in the UFC I will be very strategic with my theme song selection. I will demand that I enter the arena last so that my selection will be fresher in my opponent’s head at the time of the fight.
Here’s how it plays out.
1. Opponent enters to the music of Five Finger Death Punch or something predictable like that. He’s very amped.
2. His music stops.
3. My music begins.
4. Sailing by Christopher Cross
I’ll probably have Christopher Cross walk out with me while wearing his vintage Houston Oilers jersey.
5. By this time, everyone is depressed, except for me and Christopher Cross because we’ve become so familiar with the song.
6. Cross’ career is revived.
7. The Texans change their name back to the Oilers.
8. I win the fight in 27 seconds.