The Strange Things We Say

Professional athletes and vice presidents aren’t the only people on the planet that say dumb things.  We’re all guilty from time to time.  Here are two examples.

1.  “I’m really humbled by this.”

This is a self-defeating phrase.  It’s sort of like someone saying, “I’m not going to talk at all today” or a sign that says, “Do Not Read This Sign.”  If you really are “humbled” by whatever “this” is, why are you telling me how humble you are?

Here’s how it usually works.

“Wow!  I wasn’t expecting to win this award.  It’s an honor just to be nominated for a Grammy.  I’m so humbled by this.”

Or my personal favorite, Facebook humility.

Billy Wayne Draper My last tweet just got an RT from @LebronJames and 37 people told me that my sermon this morning was the best they’d ever heard.  So humbled by this.

Why is that humbling?  If I just won a Grammy and got retweeted by Bron Bron, I don’t think it would humble me.

Jay Sanders My last tweet just got an RT from @LebronJames and Jay Z wants to sample this morning’s sermon on his next album.  I am the man!  I cannot be stopped!  Take that suckaz!! SMH!!!!!!!!!!!!! #imahustlababy #jiggawhat

Is there some kind of new secret to humility where the more cool things you have happen to you, the more humble you get?

There’s only one situation that I could see the I’m So Humbled By This Phrase actually being legit.

“So, did you like my sermon?”

“Uh, I guess so.”

“What is it?”

“Well, your fly was down the whole time and you had your mic on while you were in the bathroom.  And George Washington didn’t write the first five books of the Bible.”

“Wow!  I’m really humbled by this.”

2.  “I’m voting for the lesser of two evils”

The response to this kind of thinking has become its own cliche.

“But the lesser of two evils is still evil.”

And this is true.

Conservatives will use the Vote for the Lesser of Two Evils Phrase a lot this year.

“Yeah, I know that Romney has a questionable record on abortion and gave the state of Massachusetts a health care plan that looks eerily similar to the one from Obama but sometimes you just have to vote for the lesser of two evils.”

In the time that I’ve been watching things, the lesser of the two evils we’ve been told to vote for has gotten progressively more evil.  Where does this end?

“Who are you voting for in November, the Communist or the Nazi?”

“I don’t know.  I may just have to do a write-in.  I don’t care for either one.”

“Oh, come on now.  At least the Communist will only kill some of your family and he may let you keep a few of your sheep for community wool making purposes.  Lesser of two evils, you know.”

This November, even if you don’t really care for either candidate, you should still go to the polls.  You could always do a write-in.  Maybe, for example, you could write my name in.

I promise to be very humbled by your vote.