Guy #1: “Hey, our church really needs to do more to reach the teens.”
Guy #2: “What if we tried getting to know some of the teenagers in our community?”
Guy #1: “You’re dumb. I know. Lil’ Markie! Today’s kids will love it! Why didn’t I think of this earlier? Oh, and you’re fired.”
0:05 – Cue the 1970s game show music in 3, 2, 1…
0:09 – Where’s Lil’ Markie? We want the puppet!
1:00 – We’re a minute into this and there’s still no Lil’ Markie sighting. Look man, if we just wanted a guy to sing, we would’ve sprung for Michael W. Smith or Carman but neither one of those guys has a Lil’ Markie. Get to the point already!
1:09 – Wait. That’s Lil’ Markie? Church membership across the nation just went down 25%.
1:13 – What I wouldn’t give for You Tube to invent some sort of technology that allows you to see the facial expression on the other side of those heads.
1:25 – The creepiest sound in the history of church music. Is there a way we can play that backwards?
1:38 – Watch the guy walking down the aisle on the left side of the screen. What do you think he’s saying to the guy on the front row?
“Pastor, we’ve got two snipers in the balcony. Just say the word.”
1:43 – The new creepiest sound in the history of church music. Played backwards, I’m sure it says something about Jimmy Page, Hotel California and the Illuminati.
The lesson to be learned here is that anything with the word Lil’ in the title is going to be bad. That goes for rappers like Lil’ Kim, the crazy girl in your fourth grade class everyone called Lil’ Bit and, of course, Lil’ Markie.