Presbyterian Football, Replacing Tebow and other Theological Dilemmas

Football season has officially begun.  To put it another way, baseball season is officially over.  Who wants to watch a bunch of overpaid athletes stand around in the grass when you can watch a bunch of overpaid college athletes hitting each other in the grass?

On to the predictions.

Georgia at Missouri

The good news for Missouri is that they get to play their first game as a member of the SEC at home.  The bad news for Missouri is that, as of late, no Georgia player has gotten drunk and taken a swing at a cop or pushed his girlfriend down a hill.  So if nothing changes between now and Saturday, the Dawgs will have all of their players and come back to Athens with the win.

Georgia 21, Missouri 10

Presbyterian at Georgia Tech

This is a tough one.  I haven’t had enough time to do any research on this college named Presbyterian.  If Presbyterian belongs to the PCUSA branch of Presbyterianism that means that they’ll probably have a woman starting at quarterback and maybe one at left tackle too.  In that case, Tech should manage to pull out the win.  But if Presbyterian subscribes to the more conservative form of Presbyterianism one would find in the PCA, the Yellow Jackets could be in trouble.

I don’t want it to look like I’m piling on the Yellow Jackets after their tough loss to Virginia Tech last Monday.  I’m here to help, Tech fans.  To prove it, I’ve taken the time to make a template for your status updates before and after every Tech game of the season.  All you have to do is fill in the blanks.

Pre Game Status Update

We ready baby!  Gonna take it to ________________.  This is our year!  Nothing can stop us.

Post Game Status Update

Why can’t we get a real quarterback and coach?  We are so much better than _____________.  SMH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Georgia Tech 3, PCUSA Presbyterian 0 or Georgia Tech 0, PCA Presbyterian 3

Atlanta @ Kansas City

If Tony Romo was a football team he’d be the Falcons.  For the past few years the Falcons have been above average, until the playoffs.  Expect them to be above average against what promises to be a very below average Chiefs team.  I know the Chiefs fans can get loud but unless they plan on helping out on defense there will be a lot of loud booing in Kansas City this year.

Falcons 27, Chiefs 7

Pittsburgh @ Denver

The last time Pittsburgh played a non-exhibition football game it was in last years playoffs against Denver.  That’s the game where Tebow went all 3:16 on the Steelers defense.  But good news, Steelers fans.  Tebow isn’t with Denver anymore so there’s nothing to worry about.  Well, nothing except for the fact that Denver replaced Tebow with a Super Bowl and MVP winner who happens to really excel at the forward pass.  But apart from that, I like the Steeler’s chances.

Pittsburgh 13, Denver 31

Enjoy the weekend.  May the games be ever in your favor.