The Southern Lexicon 3.0

The southern dialect is a lot like our nation’s tax code.  If you look away for a minute, you’ll miss a lot.  To keep you up to date, here’s the latest installment of The Southern Lexicon.

1.  Thoto move something through the air from one location to another

“John Raymond, tho me da remote.  They supposed to show our street on Honey Boo Boo tonight.”

“John Raymond, you aggravatin’ me.  Go outside and tho da bawl with yur dead-ee.”

2.  Give outtired

Everywhere else in the country, give out means to distribute.

“Morgan, thank you so very much for helping me give out buttons for father’s re-election.”

Not so in the south.

“John Raymond, I can’t play with you right now.  I’m just too give out.”

3.  GrayshussOh my goodness!

If you’re at a church in Vermont, this word is a theological term.

“God has been so gracious to us.  Turn to hymn 432 as we sing At the Cross.”

In the south, grayshuss is used in church a lot too but, more often, it’s used when a mom finds her kid acting crazy in Sunday School.

“John Raymond, get off the table.  And give Miss Lillian her shoe back.  Grayshuss!”

4.  Mileniremiles per hour

“I thought you told John Raymond that he couldn’t ride his fo-wheela.”

“I did.”

“Well he just came by the shop on it.  Had to been goin’ 60 milenire.”

“I’m gonna tho dat boy.”

5.  Cump-kneea business; people that visit your house

“Some cump-knee up in Atlanta hired John Raymond to do they figurin’.”

“John Raymond, stop chewing on the furniture.  We got cump-knee.”

6.  Lil’ Bita small portion; a girl’s nickname

“John Raymond, give me a lil’ bit of dat coe-cola.”

Although there are some exceptions, there are two things you need to know about girls in the south that go by the name of Lil’ Bit.

1.  They will have the name Lil’ Bit written somewhere on their car.  Most likely it will be on the top of the windshield.

2.  Lil’ Bit is not a very nice girl.  Again, this does not go for all ladies named Lil’ Bit but for the most part, Lil’ Bit likes to fight and chew tobacco.

“John Raymond, who you takin’ to da prum?”

Lil’ Bit.”

Grayshuss!”