Republican Cliff Divers

Every math teacher I ever had in high school said something like this.

“Okay class, stay with me on these next few problems and then we’ll try something fun.”

“Fun?  Yes!  I love fun.  Stay focused, Jay.”

I was expecting that if we could just manage to sit through a few more story problems our math teacher would take us outside and let us watch dogs catch frisbees.  That never happened.  Instead, we would always just do more word problems.  But these were fun word problems!

I learned two lessons from this.

First, unless you are criminally insane, math can never be fun.  Hitler, I am told, used to do math for fun.

Second, my math teacher and I had two different definitions for the word fun.  I’m sure that she thought that the problem about Harry taking a train to Dallas while Sergio flew to Portland was down right hedonistic.  That’s because she was criminally insane.  As for everyone else in the class, bring out the frisbee catching dogs.

Almost every morning on the news I hear about another “fiscally conservative” tea party politician who is considering abandoning his principles, assuming they existed in the first place, and supporting President Obama’s plan to raise taxes.

It appears that we must clarify what is meant by conservative.

Conservative, at least at the national level, once meant a limited, decentralized federal government.  Now it just means that when progressive politicians want to raise taxes by 30% the conservative thing to do is to complain about what this kind of a tax hike would do to the middle class and then support a 29.5% raise in taxes but use the word revenue instead of taxes.

When the next election cycle comes around there will be a lot of members of the GOP asking for your vote.

“I’m Senator Saxby Chambliss and I’m a conservative with a record of supporting the middle class.  But don’t look it up.  Just trust me.”

These kind of politicians don’t mean what you hope they mean.  If you want to know what they really mean, you can find out by watching how they respond to our nation’s so-called fiscal cliff.

If these self-described freedom-loving, fiscal conservatives support plundering more money from the citizenry in order to pay for a bloated government because, “it’s what’s best for the country” or, “desperate times call for desperate measures” you will have your answer.  What they really mean is that they are wolves dressed in wool.

So the next time a Republican tries to get your vote by telling you that he’s fiscally conservative, ask him to define his terms.

The term Republican, after all, comes from an old latin word used to describe dogs that catch frisbees.

Don’t bother with looking that up.

Just trust me.