The Year Of No Complaining

If you’re a leader in a church, 2014 can be a complaint free year. Here’s all you have to do.

1. Forget about missions.

If you focus on world missions, some people will complain that you’re neglecting the needs here. If you focus only on the needs here, there will be complaints about the lack of a focus regarding international missions. The solution is obvious. Don’t do either one. Call it the path of least resistance. Doesn’t the Bible say something about taking that path? It doesn’t matter. It sounds biblical.

Of course, you may have to deal with a few people complaining about your church’s lack of zeal when it comes to missions. But those people aren’t many. And they can find someplace else to go to church.

2. Do everything you can to please as many people as you can.

“You can’t please all the people all of the time.”

That obviously wasn’t in the Bible. Of course you can. You just have to try harder. And make a few minor compromises. And sell your soul. But the selling of your soul can buy you a lot of praise.

3. Remember the musical gods.

People of different tastes, colors and backgrounds obviously weren’t meant to worship together. I mean, that would just be weird. So play to that when you plan out your service schedule. Here’s an example.

8:00 – Service for emerging white adults who still listen to Coldplay and like watercolor art

9:30 – Service for those white adults who prefer more twang to their worship and think that the people at the 8:00 service might be going to hell.

11:00 – Traditional service for white adults who prefer organs and are relatively certain that they are the only ones going to heaven.

See what I did there? That’s called diversity and I’m sure that it’s just a small sample of what heaven will be like. Just remember, people should never be forced to deal with something they don’t like. This is America, for crying out loud. And in America, we all have the right to be happy. Now I’m sure that’s in the Bible. Somewhere.

4. Sit back and enjoy the quiet.

Just a few miles from where I sit there is a church where there is absolutely no complaining. No one fights over what style of music is played on Sundays. No one worries about losing their favorite spot. No one gripes about the pastor preaching too much past 12:00. And there’s plenty of parking.

That’s because no one is there anymore.

Church leader, if you want that to be your church in a few years, try as hard as you can to make 2014 the year of no complaining. Avoid the difficult decisions for the popular ones. Try to make everyone happy. Do everything you can to keep your job.

But just remember, when your job on earth is over, you won’t stand before a power-hungry personnel committee that acts like the church belongs to them. No, you’ll stand before the church’s real pastor.

Jesus.

The Head of the Church.

He never called you to take the path of least resistance. He may even call you to get fired for obeying him. But not everyone is willing to go that far. Only those who care more about Jesus’ opinion than man’s opinion.

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