The Washington D.C. Change Scheme

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The politicians in Washington D.C. like to talk a lot about change. Changing things is what they do, or so they tell us. Every national crisis is an opportunity for them to change something and thus another chance for them to remind us how important they are. And if there’s anything that the politicians in D.C. like more than talking about changing things, it’s reminding us how important they are.

That’s really what reform is usually all about in D.C. The actual change usually takes a backseat to the ego, status and bank account of the one talking about change. It really is a clever plan. Here’s how it works.

Step One: Crisis

In order for there to be a change, there has to be something bad that people want changed. This really is the easiest step for our federal leaders. They’re quite good at creating bad situations. Messing stuff up is what they do best. Most of the time, stuff gets messed up for two reasons. One, a politician wants more money. Two, the politician wants more power. Oh, I almost forgot the third and most dangerous reason. The politician wants more money and more power. Every time a politician acquires more money and/or power for himself he always takes it from the same source.

Us.

We the people.

Whatever your political leanings, an honest look at our nation’s scandals, of which there are many, will quickly reveal that they are the result of some politician’s thirst for more power, money or some combination of the two.

That leads us to step two.

Step Two: Outrage

The people get fed up. They’re tired of watching people from other countries set up camp in their backyard. They’re tired of waiting 18 months to see a doctor about a kidney stone. They’re tired of the IRS harassing them because they went to a Lee Greenwood concert.

So they demand change.

And the politicians are more than happy to meet those demands. It’s what they do, remember?

Which leads us to step three.

Step Three: The Fix

The politicians are fed up too. At least that’s what they want us to believe. So they call special hearings and draw up new bills that they assure us will fix the problem. They start talking like preachers. And they all come together to reach their final conclusion.

But before we get to that conclusion, we should address two warnings. First, whenever politicians agree on something, look out. What they’re agreeing on usually has something to do with taking stuff away from you. Second, use extreme caution when politicians start to talk like preachers. Whenever a politician who has a problem with a kid saying a prayer at his high school graduation starts talking about how, “we’re all God’s children,” you’re about to get hurt.

On to the conclusion.

After all of the debating, posturing and talking points, the politicians come to an agreement on the best way to fix the problem.

Money.

And power.

They need more money. And more power. In fact, if they would have had more money and more power which, remember, they get from us, none of this ever would have happened. So in a way, this was all our fault.

The VA crisis? Washington needs more money to fix it.

The border crisis? Washington needs more power.

And so we give it to them. Which always leads to another crisis. Which always leads us back to step one.

Wash.

Rinse.

Repeat.

So the moral of the story is this. Be careful when politicians in Washington D.C. come together to talk about change.

Most likely, it’s your change that they want.

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