The Monday Morning Quarterback

We begin this week’s edition of the Monday Morning Quarterback with breaking news.

The NFL season has been cancelled. Due to the fact that they are now 5 and 1, the NFL, in conjunction with ESPN, has decided to give the Dallas Cowboys a spot in this season’s Super Bowl. The remaining games of the season will be scrimmages. Next week, the Cowboy’s game against the Giants will be the game of the week. On every network. Even HGTV. The NFL, ESPN and the United Nations are still working together to determine Dallas’ opponent in the Super Bowl. So far, the Yankees and Notre Dame are believed to be the frontrunners. I’ll keep you posted.

The next time one of my fellow Georgia fans starts talking to you about how Mark Richt should be fired, wait for him to sober up and show him a replay of Saturday’s game against Missouri. The Bulldogs were playing without Todd Gurley and they still managed to shut out a top 25 SEC opponent while scoring nearly 40 points. Saturday’s game was probably Richt’s finest accomplishment as a coach.

In case you didn’t know, Todd Gurley was suspended for selling some of his football gear. Early reports indicate that he got somewhere around $400 for his troubles. $400! I blame all of this on Todd Gurley. It’s his fault for going to a school that takes those kinds of things seriously. Had he just decided to play college football in the state of Florida or at Auburn, he’d still be playing today. Heck, he’d probably even get an extra sticker on his helmet for providing the team with extra money to cover court costs for the quarterback.

Dear Cialis,

Enough with the commercials already. Some of us are trying to watch the game with our five-year-olds and don’t really feel as though now is the time to explain the dysfunctions your product aims to treat to our little ones. 

Sincerely,

Football Dads Everywhere

Ohio State is starting to scare me. They got beat early in the year and I thought that we wouldn’t be hearing much more out of them. But thanks to a streak of games against Elon, North Dakota Tech and Dumptruck County Industrial School for Boys the Buckeyes are starting to move back up in the top 25. Ohio State is sort of like Mitt Romney. They’ve been beaten already and despite being bad for America, they just won’t go away.

Georgia Tech lost a tough one to Duke. Tech fans shouldn’t feel bad about this one. I mean, it is Duke. There is no shame in losing to one of the more storied programs in college basketball history. Hang on a second, my wife is trying to tell me something.

It appears that I was mistaken. Georgia Tech lost to Duke in a football game. Wait just a minute. Duke has a football team? When did this happen? Georgia Tech should be ashamed of themselves.

Until next week, happy footballing!

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