The Monday Morning Quarterback

Welcome to the Monday Morning Quarterback. We begin this week’s edition with a transcript of the speech that was given to Georgia Bulldog players just before their loss to the Florida Gators.

Alright, men. This is a big game for us. If we win, we’re virtually a lock for the SEC Championship Game and we’ll have a pretty good shot at making it to the playoffs. We’re riding high. Our offense has been running over people and our defense is finally starting to come together. Florida on the other hand has been playing some of their worst football since Jason Carter’s grandpa was the governor of Georgia.

This is our time!

Everything is lining up perfectly for us.

So let’s get out there and do what we do.

Linebackers, I want you to forget how to tackle. Freshmen running backs, stop playing like gladiators and start playing more like that man that highlights your receipt at Wal-Mart. I can assure you of this. If you do you’re part, we will do ours. We’ll forget to call time outs. We’ll do all we can to make you look ridiculous. 

So men, let’s get out there and do what Georgia Bulldogs do in big games.

Let’s look like a bunch of receipt checkers!

Say what you want about the Dogs but at least they listen to their coaches.

Auburn managed to win their big game against Ole Miss but it wasn’t pretty. It involved a last second fumble/maiming of Rebel receiver Laquon Treadwell.

If Auburn was a kid in your neighborhood, they’d be the kid with the rat tail down at the end of the street who you can’t decide if you should trust or not. When you have to leave town for a few days you ask him to feed your dog. When you get back, there’s blood all over the carpet, you find a bag of money buried in the backyard and the police are parked outside. But the dog got fed. That’s Auburn football. They usually somehow manage to get the job done but in the process, laws were broken, money was laundered and people got hurt. Just win baby.

In case you missed the Dallas Cowboys’ game on Sunday and you don’t have access to ESPN’s wall to wall coverage, here’s a quick summary of that and every other Dallas game.

1. The Cowboys started out strong.

2. Romo got hurt/was on the sidelines for being hurt/threw 16 interceptions in the second quarter.

3. The players yelled at each other.

4. The players threw stuff at each other.

5. The Cowboys lost.

Now I know what they mean by America’s Team.

Until next week, happy footballing!

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