The Monday Morning Quarterback

Here are a few quick takeaways from the world of football last weekend.

1. Every now and then I use the wrong terminology to tell my kids to do a job. It goes like this.

Me: “One of y’all needs to pick up those clothes in the middle of the floor.”

Son 1: “They’re not mine.”

Son 2: “They’re not mine.”

Son 1: “You pick them up.”

Son 2: “No, you pick them up.”

The NFC South is a lot like my kids. The pile of clothes is the NFC South division championship. No “kid” wants to “pick up the clothes” and by the time the job gets done, it will be way too late to be considered an accomplishment.

2. If the Florida State Seminoles accomplish nothing else this season they can hang their hats on this. On Saturday they managed to make the normally hated Miami Hurricanes look like The Salvation Army. Everyone in the country without a tomahawk tattooed on their ankle or lower back was cheering for Miami to win that game. A lot of that has to do with the fact that between the alleged points shaving, the alleged sexual assault and the police corruption the Seminoles are about as endearing as a commune of convicted felons being led by Pete Rose, OJ Simpson and whoever was responsible for all of those The Fast and the Furious movies.

3. Even still, watching Florida State play Miami is sort of like watching Breaking Bad. Considering the fact that there are no redeeming characters involved, you have a hard time figuring out who to cheer for. So in the end, you decide to identify with the most likable drug dealer. Go Canes!

4. Notre Dame lost. That means that they’ll only get 15 first place votes this week.

5. Georgia beat Auburn. I don’t know what that means. But I like it.

6. Why does Clemson even bother with football?

7. Earlier last week, Malcom Gladwell said that football was immoral and an abomination. 98% of all Dallas Cowboy fans agreed with him.

8. I’m starting a new website. It’s going to be called www.bringronzookbacktothegators.com.

Until next week, happy footballing!

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