Global Warming Made Me Sick But The Government Can Fix It

Words matter when it comes to your health. Sometimes there is more to the story than the words may indicate.

Consider the following conversation that may or may not have actually taken place several years ago between two doctors.

Doctor Adams: “I think that I’ve figured out a way to stop people from getting the sick.”

Doctor Smith: “Really! How does it work?”

Doctor Adams: “Well, it doesn’t. At least most of the time it doesn’t.”

Doctor Smith: “Okay, well what’s in it?”

Doctor Adams: “Well, I’m not exactly sure on that one either.”

Doctor Smith: “Have you named your new discovery yet?”

Doctor Adams: “Yes, of course. I’m calling it the NSWIAIDWBJTTSASUA. It stands for, Not Sure What’s Inside And It Doesn’t Work But Just Take The Shot And Shut Up Already.”

Doctor Smith: “This sounds very interesting. But I only have one suggestion.”

Doctor Adams: “What’s that?”

Doctor Smith: “You’ve got to change the name. No one will ever buy a product with a name like that.”

Doctor Adams: “Okay. Any ideas?”

Doctor Smith: “Have you considered just calling it something like, oh I don’t know, the Flu Shot?

Doctor Adams: “Brilliant!”

Words matter when it comes to your health and politics. Sometimes they carry an ounce of truth with tons and tons of devils in the details.

Obamacare has a real name. It’s called The Affordable Care Act. Who could oppose something with a name like that? It’s sort of like passing a ten thousand page bill called the Puppy Dogs Are Cute Act that no one has read. Actually, it’s a lot like that. What politicians really meant when they called the healthcare bill The Affordable Care Act was that the folks in D.C. would act like they could afford to care for you. Clever, huh?

And finally, words matter for the environment. Especially when the truth gets in the way.

Several years ago, when we were all burning up in 90 degree heat, people were holding summits and conferences to encourage us all to fight global warming. They told us that the ice caps were melting and polar bears were being orphaned and it was all the fault of our Ford Explorers. In a matter of months we would all be swimming from point A to point B if nothing was done to fix the problem.

But a funny thing happened on the way to certain global destruction.

The planet’s regular weather cycle made it cold again. So after a few global warming conferences in 12 feet of snow, organizers decided that it was time for a name change.

Exit global warming. Enter climate change.

That’s the final lesson of why words matter. If they get in the way of your scam, I mean agenda, don’t bother with changing the agenda. Just change the words.

Here’s the moral of the story. If you catch the flu from being outside in 12 feet of white, powdery global warming, excuse me, climate change, you’ll probably have to go see a doctor. But don’t worry. The Affordable Care Act can get you a really good deal at the medical offices of Doctors Adams and Smith.

Get well soon!