It wasn’t a good weekend for my favorite college football team. With that in mind and in order to prepare you for the time when defeat comes knocking at your door, I give you seven ways to tell that your favorite team is about to lose.
1. If your team, on more than one occasion, is less than five yards away from scoring a touchdown and comes away with zero points, it’s going to be a long day.
2. If, at any point during the game, even if you’re team is winning by 13 touchdowns with one second remaining, the defensive coordinator even whispers the words prevent defense, your team will find a way to lose.
3. If a player, coach, fan or distant relative of a fan from the opposing team has been recently murdered, diagnosed with a rare disease or lost his foot in a tractor accident, your team will lose. Heart warming stories always beat talent. Always.
4. Was a player for your team seen conversing with Jameis Winston just before kickoff? Was Winston heard using the terms spread, cover and bookie? My deepest sympathies.
5. While watching your favorite team’s pregame warm-ups, did your son ask you why you were watching the WNBA? Good luck. But it won’t do you any good. You’re going to lose.
6. Does your favorite team have a blue star on the side of their helmet and play on Thanksgiving every year? If so, they’re done.
7. Is your favorite team being cheered for by the owner and operator of this very site? If so, you’re team will most certainly lose.
Maybe I should start cheering for Georgia Tech after all.
Until next week, happy footballing.