Another football season is officially upon us. You can already tell it in Atlanta, Georgia where last night there was a perfect storm of traffic all because of the arrival of America’s favorite pastime. Thousands of Falcons fans had traffic blocked for miles as they headed to and from the Dome to see their team find new and creative ways to embarrass themselves. In an effort to avoid all of that, many commuters chose to walk but it just didn’t work out as planned. The 13 Georgia Tech fans who went to see their team, ahem, play last night had sidewalks all jammed up with their Segway scooters. It was not a pretty sight. Thankfully, they were all able to make a detour to DragonCon where they had their pictures taken with that guy from Sharknado and Reggie Ball.
That’s why I prefer to watch the games at home. Just me, my wife and my kids. My young kids. My young kids who like to ask billions of questions. Here are a few that I’m sure to hear from them as the season wears on.
“Dad, why are that man and woman in that commercial sitting in separate tubs and holding hands?”
“Dad, why do people cheer for Clemson?”
“Dad, how is it possible for New York City to have two professional football teams and really not have any professional football teams?”
“Dad, do they give you free tuition at Florida if you wear jean shorts?”
“Dad, why can’t teams from Alabama just pick one mascot and go with it?”
“Dad, why do so many of Florida State’s players wear those electronic things around their ankles?”
“Dad, what is DeVry doing in the Orange Bowl?”
“Dad, is this ESPN or the Oprah channel?”
“Dad, why are Georgia Tech’s games played on the Oprah channel?”
“Dad, Notre Dame is 1 and 7. Why are they on TV and ranked number 3 in the country?”
“Dad, why is Ohio State playing against my soccer team this week?”
“Dad, shouldn’t they make the team that finishes in last place have to go to Washington D.C. and just send the champions to Disney World?”
If you need me over the next few days, I’ll be preparing my answers to these very important questions. In the meantime, enjoy the season, don’t throw anything and try not to laugh too hard and that dude in the yellow wig riding on the Segway. He can’t help it.
Oh, and Go Dawgs!