Four Foods That You Should Never, Ever Eat

Here are four foods that you should never, ever eat.

  1. Bread.
  2. Meat.
  3. Fruit.
  4. Anything that you might potentially enjoy.

I’m kidding of course. But some folks aren’t. They’re called Food Nazis and this time of year, with everyone at least thinking about eating healthier, their frightening food advice is all over the Internet. If you’re not careful, they could do just as much damage to you as the greasy fast food joint around the corner.

I’m a healthy eater. Most of what I eat contains very few ingredients, no gluten and no words that I can’t pronounce. I like eating this way because it makes me feel better than I do when someone has to roll me out of a Golden Corral. Eating healthy works for me, so far at least.

But what works for me may not work for you.

And what works for the guy on Facebook who likes to remind you that you’re probably going to give your kids cancer for serving them Frosted Flakes this morning doesn’t work for anyone.

I love when I hear people talking about trying to eat healthy. I think it’s a smart decision. But while you’re planning out your new year of clean eating, there are a few things that you need to remember.

You’re still going to die. 

Happy New Year! Many of our grandparents cooked biscuits in pig fat while smoking non-filtered cigarettes every day and they lived to be 85. Those of us who avoid such delicacies could still drop dead today. Or when we’re 85. Or 115. But either way, it’s going to end some day. Be good to your body and it will be good to you. There’s some truth to that. But it’s only partially true. Here’s the rest of the story. One day, your body will betray you.

Enjoy what God has given to you. 

It’s not my aim to depress you. Quite the opposite, actually. I once heard a guy tell a group of people that food was never intended to be enjoyed. According to him, it exists only for fueling. Now that’s depressing, unless you happen to be a car. Food is used all throughout Scripture to relay a picture of peace and joy. The problem with our culture is that we’ve turned food into a god. So if I could be so bold as to amend the words of my friend, food was never intended to be worshiped. It’s meant to lead you to worship the One who sovereignly provided it for you.

Stop being an investigator and just eat already.

Yes, be wise. Never eat any food where the word beef on the box is in quotation marks. For example, “Beef” patties. Nothing good can come from this. You’ll probably die within 13 seconds of touching just one “Beef” Patty. On this much, we can all agree.

But your quest for more knowledge about what you put into your body can go terribly wrong. Take water for example. If you drink city water, what will the fluoride do to you? You could get a filter for your faucet but what about the ice cubes? Perhaps you should try a filter for your entire home. But what if the guy who installed it accidentally kicked up some dirt and the termite spray from the previous occupants accidentally gets involved in the process? After hearing all of that, you may just decide to opt out and stick with beer but remember this. Nine out of ten dentists do not recommend brushing your teeth with Natural Light. The tenth one went to Auburn University’s School of Dentistry.

It’s even worse if you get your water from a well. Can you imaging the harm that would be done to your body if a gluten eating stray dog decides to relieve himself in your water supply?

My point is that it never ends. Sure, maybe your chicken was raised on a free range farm and fed a diet of unicorn hair but trace it back far enough and you’ll find something you don’t like.

Along with being smart and informed, just trust God with your food. You know, there is a reason why we pray for God to bless our food before we eat it.

Stop listening to the Food Nazis. 

They can’t be pleased. I can’t prove it but I’m pretty sure that they are direct descendants of those people in the Bible who complained when God made it rain food.

People: “Man, I sure am hungry.”

God: makes food rain from the sky

People: “What is this garbage and where’s the nearest Whole Foods?”

Food is a lot like sex. Our culture has perverted both so badly that people are forgetting how to enjoy them. On one side there are those who swim in a sea of McDonald’s french fries. At the other extreme are those who would have us to believe that eating a steak with a potato is the unpardonable sin. And in the middle, most of us are left feeling confused and guilty with every bite we take.

Enjoy your 2016. Don’t let food ruin it for you. If you’re trying to eat healthier, that’s great. Keep at it because it’s well worth your time. Just remember that food is meant to be consumed by you, not the other way around. The fast food addict and the Food Nazi share a common thread. They are both consumed by their food.

Do your best to avoid both traps.

And just enjoy with a thankful heart whatever it is that is put on the plate before you.

Unless it’s “Beef” Patties.

[7] Go, eat your bread with joy, and drink your wine with a merry heart, for God has already approved what you do. Ecclesiastes 9:7 (ESV)

image credit