I’m going to publish a children’s book about sheep. Because I care so much for you, I’ll save you the $34 that children’s books usually cost and just give you the story here. You’ll have to just imagine the drawings. Here goes.
Sammy the Sheep and his friends spent a lot of time together. They liked to play and laugh and have fun in their home, the Sheep Pasture. But there was one problem. His name was Barry the Sheep and he was their leader. He did all that he could to take away the freedoms that Sammy and his friends enjoyed. He was always trying take away their toys and he was constantly telling them where they can and cannot play. A long time ago, Sammy and his friends could play wherever they wanted but not anymore.
One day, Sammy and his friends decided to choose a new leader. They wanted one who understood their frustrations. Finally, they found him. His name was Wally. Everyone loved Wally. He was funny and he always said whatever was on his mind. This was especially great compared to how Barry was constantly telling all of the other sheep what they can and cannot say and blaming every problem in the Sheep Pasture on them.
More and more sheep were getting excited to have Wally as their new leader. They started putting up signs about it. The cheered whenever they saw Wally. The began looking forward to the days when they could play like they wanted without so many rules.
There were a few sheep who weren’t so sure about Wally. There was something different about him and they were the only ones who seemed to notice. Whenever they tried to share their concerns, the other sheep wouldn’t listen. In fact, they would just start screaming louder.
“Wally! Wally! Wally!”
Finally, Wally became the new leader.
There was a party in the Sheep Pasture to celebrate the new day that had arrived. The celebration went well into the night. Late that next morning, Sammy noticed something strange when he woke up. He couldn’t hear the birds chirping. He heard water but it wasn’t the same sound that the river running through the Sheep Pasture usually made. This water was louder. As Sammy stood up and wiped his eyes clear, there was something else that he noticed, or rather didn’t notice.
It wasn’t there.
Something was blocking it.
Sammy went looking for his friends so that they could help him investigate. He couldn’t find them. Maybe they got up before him to check things out. He hurried to catch up. As he walked through the Sheep Pasture, he noticed that the water sound was coming from a giant fountain. Behind the giant fountain was a much taller building. There had never been any kind of building in the Sheep Pasture before. This one seemed to disappear into the sky and, of course, block the sun.
Sammy walked up to the front entrance of the building. There was a sign just above the door.
It said, THE WALLY PLAZA, HOTEL AND CASINO.
Just then, Wally came walking out. His presence startled Sammy.
“Sammy, it’s good to see you. I’ve been looking for you.”
“What’s going on? What is this big building for?”
“It’s for me. Do you like it?”
“Well, it kind of takes up the whole Sheep Pasture.”
“I know. Isn’t that great?”
“Where are my friends?” Wally asked with one part curiosity and one part fear.
“I just had them for breakfast,” Wally answered smugly.
“Well, where are they now?”
“You don’t understand. I just had them for breakfast. They were great. Really great.”
“Wait, you mean you actually ate my friends for breakfast?”
“Of course I did. After all, I am Wally the Wolf. What did you expect me to do? Did you actually think that I was trying to be your leader so that I could make the Sheep Pasture great again? Now come with me, it’s almost time for lunch.”
Wally the Wolf grabbed Sammy the Sheep’s hand and walked him inside the giant building.
It wasn’t until then that Sammy the Sheep knew that he had been had.
So what do you think?
I’m thinking of calling it The Sheep Pasture. Either that or Why You Shouldn’t Vote For Donald Trump.