If Fast Food Executives Told It Like It Is

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You may want to think twice before you eat at a Checkers again.

Last week a video surfaced of an employee intentionally dropping a bun on the floor, smearing it around, picking it back up and using it to build a sandwich soon to be enjoyed by some poor customer of the fast food restaurant.

As you can imagine, the higher ups at Checkers weren’t too thrilled with this development. They came out with a video of their own where Lori Malcolm, the Senior Vice President of Human Resources shared her shock and disgust at the video. You know, all of the things that a Senior Vice President of Human Resources is supposed to say when one of her employees is caught contaminating the product with floor juices.

Wouldn’t it have been nice if Ms. Malcolm would have just told it like it is? I think that it should have gone something like this.

By now, you’ve seen the video of one of our employees contaminating a bun that would soon be served to a customer. I find this both disgusting and embarrassing. But, then again, I haven’t eaten at Checkers since the 8th grade and that was because I lost a bet. I just work here. Everything about this place except for my paycheck is disgusting and embarrassing. 

Still, you the loyal customer should not be concerned about this incident. We know exactly what is on our floor. Grease. Dirt. You get the point. But we don’t have the first clue what’s in our hamburger meat. Ham, maybe? I don’t know. It’s not my place to guess. I just take care of the employees. But my point is that now, at least you have some idea of what’s in your Checkers burger. Grease. Dirt. You get the point. See, it’s all about perspective. And really, I mean you’re eating at Checkers. I’m sure that cleanliness isn’t at the top of your list of dietary priorities. 

Also, the young lady who committed this despicable act will soon be making $15 an hour for her hard work as a contaminated sandwich builder. That’s another way of saying that her job will soon be taken over by a robot. Robots, in case you are unaware, never drop buns on the floor. Sure, they may try to take over the human race but they never, ever drop buns. 

But don’t feel too sorry for our former employee. She’ll land on her feet. Currently, she is entertaining a job offer to oversee the Department of Education’s school lunch program. She’ll be replacing the guy who had the idea to serve pizza, corn and milk in the same meal. It can only get better from there.

Thank you for eating at Checkers.

And may God have mercy on you.

Now that’s the kind of telling it like it is that this country really needs.

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A Word To Fast Food Workers Wanting $15 An Hour

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Money is important. It matters. Some will tell you that the Bible says that money is the root of all sorts of evil. That verse comes right after the passage where Jesus tells the parable of Johnny beating the devil in a fiddle duel. In other words, that verse isn’t in the Bible. There is one like it.

For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs. 1 Timothy 6:10 (ESV)

That’s, “The love of money is a root of all kinds of evils.”

It may not look like a big difference but it really is. To say that money alone is the root of evil is to imply that the rich, not the poor, will fall into one of those evils. The love of money is different. Anyone can be guilty of loving money in a way that leads to sin. The rich banker and the poor cardboard box dweller are just alike in this regard.

Bad theology isn’t the only way that we get our ideas of money wrong. Here are a few others ways.

1. If you are making minimum wage at a fast food restaurant, you are getting paid what you deserve.

You read that right. You don’t deserve to make $15 an hour for dropping fries in a big pot of oil and slapping a room temperature piece of fresh fish between two buns.

2. If you are making minimum wage at a fast food restaurant, you are right, you cannot live off of that money.

Therefore, instead of walking around the street holding a sign asking for more money, you should find another job. Find a job that pays more. Find a job that pays the same but allows you to keep your old job too. Two jobs won’t kill you. There’s a good chance that the evil, greedy boss who is paying you either has or is currently working two jobs. You could also find a way to get into school, any school, and learn a trade. Stop looking for your dream job and settle for one that will pay you enough to actually live off of.

And, whatever you do, don’t listen to Pitbull and Ne-Yo when they sing that song about knowing that their rent is going to be late but going to the club anyway to spend their last twenty bucks. That is one of the most ignorant songs that has ever been written. It preaches a mindset of poverty. Sadly, it has become the anthem for many people today. Don’t make it yours.

3. If you are making minimum wage at a fast food restaurant and you go on strike demanding $15 an hour here’s what you do deserve.

You deserve to be fired.

And your job should be given to that person who is looking for a second job to fund night school.

4. If you are making minimum wage at a fast food restaurant, your boss isn’t making too much money.

Neither is his boss. And neither is the guy who started the business. In fact, as long as they’re getting it legally and ethically, there isn’t a CEO on this planet who is making too much money.

As much as you may hate it, you should want your boss to make a lot of money. If your hard work and good attitude helped to make that happen, there’s a good chance that it will pay off for you. If not, find another place where it will. The last thing you want is for your boss to be broke. But that’s just what he’ll be if you get your way and the government makes him pay you $15 an hour for putting salt on fries.

Here’s a simple math question.

Mr. Smith pays Johnny $7 an hour for cleaning the bathrooms and making fries at The Pig N Suds Laundromat and BBQ Cafe. Johnny would like to make twice that much for doing the same job so he asks the government to make Mr. Smith pay him $15 an hour. The government makes Mr. Smith double Johnny’s salary. After two months, Mr. Smith closes The Pig N Suds Laundromat and BBQ Cafe due to high operating expenses. How much money will Johnny make then?

If your answer was, “The train leaving Dallas,” nice try.

The answer is $0.

The love of money makes us do terrible things. It makes us lie, cheat and steal. It also makes us demand what we don’t deserve.

If you want $15 an hour, make the necessary sacrifices in order to become a $15 an hour employee. That’s what providers do.

Lovers of money are different. They just make demands based on their wants. And those demands are never enough. Eventually, $15 will need to be $20. And then $30. Until Mr. Smith finally has to close up shop.

And you’re left with $0.

And that nagging old love of money.

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